


Play Me a Song, Your Newest One

by justyrae



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Firefighters, Denial of Feelings, Flirting, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-25
Updated: 2014-03-25
Packaged: 2018-01-17 00:44:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1367644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justyrae/pseuds/justyrae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Firefighter Liam saves songwriter Zayn from his burning flat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Play Me a Song, Your Newest One

**Author's Note:**

> title from 'Paperweight' by Schuyler Fisk and Joshua Radin

Zayn prided himself on being a heavy sleeper, particularly proud of his ability to fall asleep practically wherever he could. It came in handy with his line of work, having spent many a night in a studio with various singers and fellow songwriters and ending up crashing on a couch for a few hours of sleep here and there.

For once, Zayn was in his own flat when he fell asleep. Although it seemed that he had gotten so accustomed to sleeping on sofas that he didn't bother to make it to his own bed that night. He nodded off after finally finishing the melody of a song that had been plaguing him for weeks, tucking his laptop under his arm as he closed his eyes.

He'd never admit it aloud, but the warmth from his laptop was the closest thing to a bedmate he'd had in a long time.

Zayn awoke a few hours later, though not by choice. The warmth from his laptop had long since faded away but he was unbearably hot. Sweat had soaked through his shirt so much that it clung to his shirt as he blinked himself awake.

He smelled smoke. Not the kind he was used to – having a number of colleagues and friends alike who smoked, always offering to him even though he was desperately trying to quit – but the kind that seeped into his lungs and made him cough harshly.

As the room came into view, he realized he was surrounded by flames. As his eyes began to water and his coughing became more frantic, Zayn was frozen in place by fear. His mind flashed back to all the emergency procedures he'd been taught at school years and years ago, but he couldn't actually remember a single one.

 _Oh god, I'm going to die_ , he thought helplessly as the flames around him grew higher.

A loud crack echoed through his flat, and at first Zayn was petrified that the roof was going to collapse. When another similar sound followed, he looked across the room to his front door where he could see slivers of light from the hallway outside.

It was then that he realized the noises he'd heard were firemen chopping down his front door. Somewhere in the back of his mind he wondered if he'd have to pay for that, but that thought was quickly pushed away in favor of focusing on being rescued.

Zayn's coughing became more violent, almost to the point where he couldn't breathe at all. He could hardly see on the figures coming towards him, his vision blurred by smoke and ash. Unable to stop himself, he curled up into a ball as his body shook with each lung-wrenching cough.

His fingers wrapped around his laptop, firmly clasping it to his chest as he felt himself start to lose consciousness. He just barely registered someone speaking to him, though he had no idea what they'd said. The last thing he remembered before passing out was being lifted into someone's arms, trying to fight them off as they attempted to remove his laptop from his grip.

Zayn came to for a few minutes after he'd been pulled out of the building, sitting bolt upright on an ambulance stretcher and immediately fighting the oxygen mask over his mouth.

"Hey, hey, take it easy!" A pair of hands forced him back down, but Zayn was in no mood to be manhandled.

"Wh- Where-" Zayn croaked, unable to get the words out before he started to cough again.

"Breathe, breathe," the voice was softer now, more soothing in an attempt to get Zayn to calm back down. "Can you tell me your name?"

"I-I need-" Zayn was already starting to feel woozy again, but the voice tried again in earnest.

"Your name, mate, please."

"Zayn," he gasped out before falling back onto the stretcher, passing out again.

By the time Zayn regained consciousness again, several hours had passed. He woke up in a hospital bed, nearly blinded by the bright lights. If possible, Zayn felt more suffocated in the stale air of the hospital than he had in his smoke-filled flat hours before.

He sat up slowly, taking into account all the various machines he'd been hooked up to. Just as he started to try and yank out the assortment of IVs, a nurse appeared in the doorway and quickly rushed over to stop him.

"None of that, love, calm down."

"Where am I?"

"Royal London Hospital," she answered once she'd finally stopped Zayn from trying to destroy the probably very expensive equipment. "You're lucky they pulled you out when they did."

"I am?"

"Yeah," she replied, her voice as calm as if she were talking about the weather and not his apartment building going up in flames. "Heard the roof caved in on the top floor. Can't imagine what would've happened if they'd arrived later."

Zayn stayed silent, his mind reeling with this information. Did this mean his flat had been destroyed? Were all of his things gone forever?

"Did-"

"Now, then," the nurse interrupted, apparently not having heard Zayn's attempt at a question. "Can you tell me your name?"

"M'name's Zayn," he replied, wincing as he cleared his throat. "Zayn Malik."

"Well, that's a relief." She huffed softly, walking around his bed to mark his chart quickly. "The doctor'll be by in a bit, probably want to keep you overnight for observation."

"But-" Zayn began, but she didn't bother to stick around to hear what he had to say.

He slumped back down onto the bed, covering his face with his hands. He cried out in frustration as he became tangled in the tubes that covered him, sitting up a minute later and clawing at them.

"I don't think you should be doing that." Zayn froze, his eyes darting to the doorway at the sound of a familiar voice – although he couldn't quite place it.

He studied the man before him, dressed in a uniform that could only belong to one profession. Even if he hadn't been so obviously a fireman, it wouldn't have been too hard to guess what with the amount of soot that covered his face.

"Do I know you?" Zayn asked, feeling too put out by the whole situation to speak kindly.

"S'pose not," he answered sheepishly as he stepped forward to stand directly beside Zayn's bed, his hands clasped behind his back. "You were a bit dodgy there for a while."

Zayn kept staring at him, mildly confused as to why this mysterious fireman was standing in his room. Some distant part of his mind forced Zayn to notice the way his muscles rippled under his shirt, and Zayn had to push those thoughts away so as to not start drooling all over the place.

"My name's Liam," he offered with a small smile. "D'you know yours?"

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" Zayn replied with a huff. Then, feeling a bit bad about the way Liam winced, he added, "it's Zayn."

"Zayn," Liam repeated, his face brightening at once. "I believe this belongs to you."

He pulled his hands out from behind his back and revealed that he'd been holding Zayn's laptop. He held it out for Zayn to take from him, and Zayn could hardly believe what he was seeing.

"Oh my- How did-" He stared up at Liam with wide eyes, certain that he may actually cry from happiness.

"You-" Liam chuckled. "You didn't want to let it go. Figured it was important."

"You've no idea," Zayn replied as he ran his fingers over the case, marveling at the fact that it wasn't damaged at all.

Overcome by emotion, Zayn surged upwards and kissed Liam square on the mouth. Liam stood frozen as he pulled back, smiling brightly as he looked back down at his laptop.

"Thank you, Liam." Zayn met Liam's eyes, barely noticing the deep flush in his cheeks.

"N-No problem," Liam stammered, stumbling back a few paces away from Zayn's bedside. "I should be going, y'know, lives to save and all that."

Zayn chuckled. "Thanks again. For everything."

Liam nodded curtly, unable to say anything else before turning on his heel and quickly exiting Zayn's room. Zayn chuckled again, hardly sparing another thought about Liam the fireman as he settled back in his bed with his laptop safely tucked in his arms.

*

Zayn wasn't released from the hospital until the following afternoon, and he didn't even think about the fact that he didn't have a home to go back to until he'd already made his way to the lobby.

He collapsed into one of the chairs long the wall and dropped his head into his hands, his laptop carefully set aside on the table next to him. By some stroke of luck, he'd fallen asleep with his phone and wallet still in his pocket, but along with his laptop those were the only three possessions he was still sure existed.

Just as he was starting to wonder how long he could get away with staying at the studio without anyone noticing, someone sat down in the seat next to him and handed him a cup of coffee.

"Looked like you needed it," Liam offered when Zayn looked at him in disbelief.

"Thanks," he answered softly as he took it, bringing the cup to his lips and wincing at the taste. "God, that's awful!"

"Sorry," Liam said with a chuckle. "Hospital coffee is usually shit."

"What are you doing here?" Zayn couldn't stop himself from asking, as he couldn't fathom why the fireman who'd saved his life and salvaged his precious laptop was now bringing him coffee.

"Thought you might need a ride home." Liam smiled. Zayn faltered in returning the gesture, as he was once again reminded that he had no idea what he was going to do.

"Haven't got a home, have I?" he mumbled weakly, wrapping his hands around the cup as he stared down at the liquid inside.

"Right," Liam replied, almost like he'd forgotten the night before. "How about your mum and dad?"

"Nah," Zayn shook his head. "They're up in Bradford, I couldn't ask you- That's too far."

"I don't mind." Zayn chuckled.

"You already saved my life, are you trying for sainthood?" Liam's cheeks turned the slightest shade of pink as he looked away, smiling down at his hands.

"Nah, I just-" he paused as he let out a soft breath before turning back to Zayn. "I like helping people."

"Seems you're in the right profession, then." Zayn finally set his coffee cup down, trading it for his laptop that he hugged close to his chest. Liam watched but stayed silent, giving Zayn the space and time he needed.

"Could you-" Zayn stopped himself, still not quite ready.

"What?" Liam asked, hesitantly watching Zayn as he gathered his thoughts.

"Could you take me back to my flat?"

Liam sighed heavily, silently hoping that if he stayed quiet long enough Zayn may change his mind. But as he looked back at Zayn, sitting still and stone-faced next to him, he knew there was nothing he could say that would sway him otherwise.

"Yeah, alright. C'mon then."

The drive from the hospital to what was left of the building Zayn lived in wasn't long, but Liam couldn't bring himself to say a word. Zayn didn't seem to mind, content to stare out the window at the street passing by as he continued to clutch his laptop against his chest as if it was going to sprout legs and run away at any moment.

Still, he wasn't prepared to see the damage. When Liam pulled up across the street from the remains of the building Zayn had lived in for the last two years, he could hardly get out of the car. He stared at it through the window for several minutes before he felt Liam lay a tentative hand on his shoulder.

"You don't have to get out if you don't want to."

"I want to," Zayn replied in a low voice.

Seeing it up close was even worse than looking at it through the car window. There was still ash in the air and Zayn wondered if the smell of smoke would ever leave the air. He hardly noticed when Liam came up and stood beside him, remaining quiet as he too stared at the wreckage before them.

Zayn made a move to step forward and Liam caught him by the elbow. He whipped his head around to stare at Liam, who immediately let go and dropped his eyes to the ground.

"Sorry, it's just…you can't go in."

Zayn sighed heavily as he looked back at the building, taking a step back a moment later and resigning himself to the fact that he didn't have a home anymore.

"Right," he mumbled. "Thanks for the ride, yeah?"

"What are you going to do?" Liam asked and Zayn chuckled dryly.

"Dunno. I'll figure something out."

"If you need somewhere to stay-"

"I can't ask that of you, mate."

"You're not." Liam smiled. "I'm offering."

Zayn shook his head, but Liam wasn't going to take no for an answer.

"Just for the night, then. Tomorrow I'll drop you anywhere you want to go, yeah?"

Zayn started to shake his head again, his mind torn between wanting to say yes and knowing he shouldn't impose himself on Liam's life any more than he already had.

"C'mon. My mum would kill me if I didn't offer you a proper meal and a good night's sleep after what you've been through."

He chuckled lightly. "Your mum sounds lovely."

"That's my mum." Liam shrugged. Zayn sighed heavily before he felt his head nodding of its own accord, his mind having made itself up in his silence.

"Alright. Just one night."

*

True to his word, Zayn stayed for just one night. He slept on Liam's couch, even though Liam told him a hundred times he could take his bed if he wanted to. Zayn wouldn't listen, insisting that the couch was perfectly fine.

It really was, considering the moment Zayn laid down he fell asleep almost immediately. But he awoke frightfully early in the morning, far before he would've even fathomed he could ever possibly be awake and coherent.

It seemed as though as welcoming as Liam had been and as relieved as Zayn actually felt to be in a safe place, he couldn't shake the feeling that he didn't belong there.

Carefully avoiding making any noise so as to not wake Liam up, Zayn tiptoed around the flat and felt a twinge of sadness in his chest when he remembered all that he'd lost. He hadn't had that much to begin with, but it was still hard to think about the things he'd never see again.

He slowly pushed open the door to the room next to Liam's, seeing it was practically empty save for a few pieces of furniture. He remembered Liam mentioning that his roommate had recently moved out, but there was something about the scene before him that left Zayn with a strange feeling.

It was like all memory of the former tenant had been wiped clean from the room. As Zayn thought about it, he figured that was generally normal when roommates moved out – though he'd never had one so he wasn't entirely sure. But there was just something else about it that didn't sit well with him.

Zayn slowly made his way back to the sofa, gathering up his things and slipping on his shoes before starting to head for the front door. Just as his fingers brushed the handle, a voice inside his head chastised him for almost running off without leaving a note.

He cast a forlorn look at Liam's bedroom door, knowing deep down that he wouldn't forgive himself if he didn't say thank you at least one more time.

After searching the kitchen for a scrap of paper, Zayn scrawled out a short message and tacked it to the fridge. Finally satisfied, he left Liam's apartment and didn't look back.

*

He spent the next week and a half crashing on the couch in his studio, though truth be told Zayn could more than afford to stay in a hotel until he found a new apartment. He didn't bother going around replacing the items he'd lost other than clothing, and perhaps that was why he knew deep down he wasn't moving on.

It wasn't as though he'd lost anyone close to him, but he couldn't seem to get over the feeling that something was missing from his life. When he'd called his mum to tell her what happened, he nearly burst into tears just from hearing her cry.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? You should've come home."

"Didn't want to worry you, mum. I'm fine, really."

"Fine? You're telling me your flat burned down and you're fine? You are most certainly not fine!" Zayn pressed the heel of his hand to his face as he tried to calm his mum down, though it didn't seem to work.

"Mum, please, stop crying."

"I just worry about you, love. Are you eating? Where are you staying? Do you need any money?"

"Christ, mum, no I don't need money." He chuckled lightly. "I told you, I'm fine. I'm crashing at the studio while I look for a new place."

"Alright," she sighed heavily. "I still think you should come home, but if you say you're alright then I believe you."

Zayn chuckled again, knowing full well she was putting on a brave face for his sake. For the first time since he'd left the flat, he thought about Liam. He thought about his offer to drive him back to Bradford, and he smiled.

"Zayn, love? You still there?"

"Yeah, mum. But I've got to go. I'll call you later, yeah?"

"Please do. I love you."

"Love you too," he replied before he hung up. He scrolled through his contacts, wondering if any of his mates would put up with him for a night so he could have a proper shower and something to eat that wasn't takeout.

He paused on one in particular, someone he knew he hadn't put in himself.

**Firefighter Liam :)**

Zayn hardly believed his own eyes, but it didn't stop him from opening a new text message. His fingers hesitated momentarily before he began to type, but he soon found that it was easier than he thought.

_Don't think they'll grant you sainthood if they know you go sneaking about with people's mobiles._

He didn't have time to wait around for an answer as his attention was called back to work, so Zayn pocketed his phone and for the moment he forgot all about Liam. It wasn't until hours later that everyone else had gone home and Zayn was alone again in the studio.

Frustrated by the melody he'd been working on for what seemed like ages, Zayn pushed the sheet music aside and pulled his phone out with the intention of ordering in. He stopped when he saw he had a response from Liam, ignoring the lump in his throat as he opened it.

_Good thing I did with the way you snuck out of my flat :(_

_Sorry :( didn't want to impose any more than I already had…_

_Don't be daft. You're welcome any time you like._

_You don't even know me, Liam. I could be a serial killer!_

_Survived a night with you already, didn't I? :)_

"He's mad," Zayn said aloud with a chuckle as he read Liam's last response. He went to reply, only to be interrupted by another message coming through.

_Like I said, you're always welcome. I could use a new roommate._

Zayn chuckled again as he typed out his response.

_I'll keep that in mind. Never know when I might need saving again :)_

Exactly one week later, Zayn was standing outside Liam's door with a bag slung over his shoulder and his laptop tucked under his arm. He'd been nervously chewing on his lip ever since the taxi dropped him off in front of Liam's building, and it took a good ten minutes for him to knock on his door.

When the door swung back and he was met with Liam's smile, Zayn felt a wave of relief rush through his body and he let out the breath he'd been holding in without even knowing.

"Still need a roommate?"

*

Months passed and Zayn forgot what life was like before he moved in with Liam almost entirely. He'd never lived with anyone before – not even during his short stint at uni – mostly because he thought he'd never be able to tolerate someone else's habits.

Liam was, for all intents and purposes, the perfect roommate. He cooked, he cleaned, he was around when Zayn needed to vent but he wasn't around so much that Zayn got sick of him. In fact, when Liam wasn't around – which was most nights given he was out saving lives – Zayn missed him.

He also started to worry about Liam every time he walked out of their flat to start his shift at the firehouse. Zayn couldn't let go of this sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, the absolutely unnerving fear that it could be the last time he saw Liam.

For whatever reason, Zayn could never bring himself to voice his fears aloud. He could see in Liam's eyes that he absolutely loved his job, danger and all. And of course, Zayn knew from experience, he was really good at saving people.

So Zayn kept quiet, and buried himself in his work whenever Liam wasn't around.

On nights he spent at the studio, he hardly noticed how many times he would check his phone every hour – just to make sure he hadn't missed the _home safe!_ text Liam would send. If he was collaborating with someone new, they'd ask if he was waiting for a text from his girlfriend. Zayn never noticed the look he was given when he told them it was just his roommate, but Zayn didn't notice a lot of things.

He appreciated the way Liam would always save half of whatever he cooked, even if Zayn told him not to. He didn't notice how Liam always seemed to make his favorite meals after he'd had a particularly rough day.

He was grateful that Liam didn't mind when Zayn would take over the entirety of their living room with his equipment, poring over sheet music for hours just to get one part of a melody. He didn't notice that when he was home, Liam would make any and every excuse to sit and listen.

But then there were nights where Zayn would go to bed before Liam got home, and he would wake up at the crack of dawn and _need_ to go check to make sure Liam got in okay. It was only after he peeked through Liam's door and saw him sleeping soundly that Zayn could fall back asleep.

One morning, Zayn woke up to a silent flat. Normally, even on nights when he got in far later than Zayn, Liam would be already up and making tea by the time Zayn shuffled out of his room.

A little confused at first, Zayn ducked his head into Liam's room just to make sure he hadn't imagined him curled up under the covers no more than a few hours ago. But there he was, sound asleep and Zayn couldn't help but smile as he looked at him.

Zayn busied himself by making tea for the both of them, grimacing to himself as he added far too much sugar to Liam's for his own taste. He slowly made his way back to Liam's room, careful not to spill any tea before he gently set the mug down on the bedside table.

Liam rolled over, making a soft noise as he wearily opened his eyes. Zayn bit back a chuckle as Liam blinked, his eyes only half-focusing on Zayn before he looked at the steaming mug on the table.

"Made you tea," Zayn said softly. A smile spread across Liam's face as his eyes fluttered shut again.

"Thanks, babe," he breathed out, slipping back asleep a few seconds later.

Zayn froze at the sound of Liam's words, wondering if he'd heard correctly. His heart began to race and his mouth went dry before he was able to recover and leave Liam's room in a rush. It wasn't until he was back in his own room that he marveled at the fact that he was still holding his own mug of tea.

 _Babe?_ He repeated to himself. He and Liam had gotten close since he'd moved in, but Zayn wasn't the type to give his mates pet names and he hadn't thought Liam was either.

Zayn pushed it out of his mind as best he could, going back over to his bed and setting up his laptop to continue working on his latest piece of music.

He heard Liam get up an hour or so later, but Zayn didn't move from his bed. He didn't even move when he heard Liam rustling about in the kitchen and the smell of breakfast wafted under his door.

Zayn sipped at his lukewarm tea, willing himself to concentrate on the lyrics that had been circling his head for days.

He was working with a new artist and if Zayn was being honest with himself, it was driving him a bit mad. Never before had he worked with someone who spent most of their time in the studio goofing around. It had been amusing at first and Zayn honestly liked working with him – but it was starting to wear a bit thin.

Zayn had opted to continue writing a ballad they'd been working on earlier in the week, and he started singing the words as he tried to match them to a melody. He was so caught up in what he was doing that he didn't hear the light knock on his door, nor did he notice when Liam gently pushed it open and stood there listening to him sing.

" _I don't wanna know I'm walking away if you'll be mi_ \- Jesus, Liam!" Zayn clutched his chest when he finally noticed he wasn't alone in his room anymore, and Liam nearly doubled over from laughing so hard. Zayn glared at him as he yanked his headphones off, letting them hook around his neck as he paused the music on his laptop.

"Sorry, mate! I knocked, I swear." Liam chuckled again. "Didn't mean to scare you."

"Yeah, well, s'long as you're not laughing at my singing," Zayn said as he closed his laptop and set it aside.

"Course not! You sounded really good. Like, really, really good." Liam smiled and Zayn finally noticed he was holding a plate.

"That for me?" he asked, tentatively eying the plate. He hadn't realized how hungry he actually was.

"Yeah," Liam said as he stepped forward, handing the plate to Zayn before he sat down on the edge of the bed. "Figured I'd pay you back for bringing me tea."

Zayn's skin prickled at the mention, and he swallowed harshly. "Didn't have to."

"Neither did you," Liam answered with a smile, but Zayn couldn't return it. He stared down at his plate as he kept eating, hoping Liam would change the subject. "You alright?"

"Yeah-" Zayn answered with a mouthful of toast. He swallowed, chuckling nervously before he spoke again. "Yeah, why?"

"Dunno. You seem weird." Zayn chewed on his bottom lip and shrugged, hoping it was as nonchalant as he was trying for.

"It's- It's nothing really, you just-" Zayn sighed. "You called me babe."

"When?" Liam asked, giving Zayn an odd look as he tried to remember.

"When I brought you tea," Zayn replied, feeling his cheeks start to burn and he found that he couldn't look Liam in the eye. "You rolled over and said 'thanks babe' before going back to sleep."

"Oh." Liam shrugged. "Must've been dreaming or summat." He chuckled lightly. "Maybe I thought you were my old roommate, Dan."

"He bring you tea in bed a lot?" Zayn asked, meaning for it to be a joke until he heard Liam's answer.

"Yeah, well, he was my boyfriend."

For the second time that morning, some distant part of Zayn's mind marveled at the fact that he didn't manage to break anything when his entire body froze. He stared at Liam for a moment before he recovered, hoping Liam didn't notice the way he reacted.

"You- Your boyfriend?"

"Yeah," Liam replied with a fond chuckle. "Did I not mention that before?"

Zayn shook his head. "No," he mumbled.

"Doesn't make things weird, does it?" Liam asked. "I mean, like, you're not-"

"Not…?" Liam raised his eyebrows and Zayn sputtered out, "God, no! Christ, I'm not a bloody homophobe!"

"I didn't think so!" Liam laughed. "I mean, you did kiss me the first day we met."

"I did?" Zayn said, his mind drifting back to that day. As the memory came back, he felt his cheeks turn even redder. "Bloody hell, I did."

"Yep." Liam smirked. "Thought maybe you were, y'know." Zayn was full-on blushing now and Liam was enjoying every second of it. "But then, well, you moved in and here we are."

"Here we are," Zayn echoed softly. Liam smiled brightly at him, clearly not as affected by their conversation as Zayn was.

"Well, I'll let you get back to work – really do like the song, by the way." Liam hoisted himself up off the bed, smiling at Zayn as he slipped through the door and closed it behind him.

Zayn stared at the door for a good ten minutes after Liam left, feeling as though he were 14 years old all over again and had just been kissed for the first time. His skin was prickling with cold and heat all at once, and his heart was beating so fast it was a wonder he hadn't passed out altogether.

He hadn't felt this unsure in his own skin in ages, and it was absolutely maddening. It wasn't like he'd never kissed a boy before, hell he'd done enough with both boys and girls that would make anyone blush.

So why was remembering one kiss – a kiss so insignificant he'd forgotten about it until then – suddenly making him feel this way? Up until that moment, Zayn had never felt butterflies in his stomach when thinking about Liam.

This was _Liam_.

Zayn shook his head, putting his plate of half-eaten breakfast aside as he replaced his headphones over his ears. He was going to drown out the sound his own thoughts and hope that the butterflies would go along with them.

*

It seemed as though that after the talk he and Liam had that morning, Zayn was unable to think about anything else. The butterflies didn't go away, in fact they got bigger whenever Liam was around.

Zayn became acutely aware of every little thing Liam did for him, and it put him so much on edge that he actually started avoiding him. He started staying at the studio for much longer than he normally would, and when he was home he usually holed himself up in his room with his laptop and other equipment.

Liam, by some miracle, didn't seem to mind being shut out. Occasionally he would knock at Zayn's door and ask if he needed anything, always calling out a cheerful "okay!" when Zayn would answer in the negative. There would always be something waiting in the fridge for Zayn to eat when he returned from the studio, though half the time he couldn't bring himself to eat anything.

His heart was doing cartwheels in his chest and his stomach was so twisted in knots that it was a wonder Zayn didn't pass out whenever he spent even a minute with Liam.

It wasn't even like Liam was _doing_ anything to make Zayn feel this way. He couldn't comprehend why he suddenly lost his words and could do nothing but smile when Liam looked at him. Zayn had never felt this way about anyone before, and it terrified him.

One afternoon in the studio, Zayn was curled up in a chair in the corner still working on the same lyrics he'd been practicing that morning in their flat. He was also halfheartedly listening to the artist he was working with sing, though he was so lost in his thoughts that he couldn't possibly have been concentrating that hard on either one.

Zayn didn't even realize he'd stopped singing and had come into the room until a pair of fingers snapped together in front of his face. He jumped, sending his notebook to the floor as he fought to get his heartbeat to slow down.

"Sorry, mate."

"Christ, Harry. D'you mind?" He chuckled, bending down to pick up Zayn's notebook.

"I was calling your name for ages." He held it out to Zayn, who eyed him warily before taking it back.

"Sorry. Was lost in my own mind, I guess."

"No worries." Harry smiled. "Any progress on the new one?"

"Sort of," Zayn mumbled as he flipped through the pages of his notebook before turning it around to show him. Harry's eyes skimmed the page quickly before he hummed in approval.

"I like it. Got a tune yet?"

"Do I have to do everything?" Zayn teased, hauling himself out of the chair with a side smile. Harry followed him into the recording booth, standing near the microphone he'd been singing into minutes before while Zayn grabbed a guitar out of the far corner.

Harry stayed quiet as he listened to Zayn fool around with the melody a bit before he started singing, but as he listened to the lyrics against the sound of the guitar he couldn't help but grin.

"About anyone in particular?" Harry teased when Zayn had finished.

Zayn tried not to think about how much he was probably blushing at Harry's words as he put the guitar back where he found it. He turned back and shrugged his shoulders haphazardly, wishing Harry would talk more about the melody than where the inspiration for the lyrics came from.

The studio was still booked for another hour or so to continue their session, but after playing the song Zayn found himself wanting to go home. He apologized and told Harry they'd reschedule, but to his surprise Harry said it was no problem.

He gave Zayn a knowing smile that sent a mild shiver down Zayn's spine, but he tried not to show it. He told himself that Harry didn't know anything, because how could he possibly know when Zayn himself had no idea?

Zayn wasn't sure what he'd been expecting when he opened the door, but he was surprised to see Liam sitting on the couch in the living room when he came in. Zayn froze for a moment, his hand still gripping the doorknob when Liam turned his head and smiled at him.

"Hey," he greeted warmly.

"Hi," Zayn managed to say. He cleared his throat and gave Liam a mildly confused look. "I thought you were on call tonight?"

"Called in," Liam replied, giving Zayn a sheepish smile as he looked away. "Wasn't feeling well."

"Oh?" Zayn finally stepped inside and closed the door, walking over towards Liam and directly ignoring the way his heart started to race the closer he got. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, it's just…" Liam trailed off and Zayn sat down next to him, careful to keep a modicum of distance between them.

"What?"

"I'm a little sad." Liam looked up and Zayn's mouth went dry. "My best mate's been avoiding me."

Zayn opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He stared at Liam helplessly, growing more and more nervous with each passing moment. He managed to make a small noise of protest, but Liam just chuckled lightly and shook his head.

"So it's true then. You have been avoiding me."

"N-No, I-" Zayn stammered, becoming increasingly frustrated that his mouth was not responding to his mind's commands.

"You hardly speak to me, you don't hang around the living room anymore playing your songs…" Liam trailed off and sighed. "I miss that."

"I'll play one. Right now." Zayn blinked, mildly confused at the words that had just tumbled out of his mouth but as Liam's eyes rose to meet his own, he found himself nodding and hoping that Liam would ask him to.

"I'd like that," Liam replied softly.

In a flash, Zayn was up and off the couch and running to his room to grab his guitar. It took less than a minute for him to be seated back on the couch in front of Liam, and he strummed the strings to make sure it was still in tune.

"No laughing, yeah?"

Liam gave him a look as if to say, _I'd never_. Zayn bit back a smile as he exhaled deeply before he began to play the same song he'd played for Harry not two hours before.

Before he'd even finished the first verse, Harry's voice popped into his head asking _about anyone in particular?_ and Zayn's voice nearly gave out. He recovered quickly enough without Liam noticing, but he finally realized what he'd been fighting all along.

_Never felt like this before, are we friends or are we more?_

He'd been writing about Liam.

"That was incredible," Liam said with an impressed smile once Zayn finished singing and set his guitar aside, blushing profusely from Liam's praise. "No, really, I loved it."

"Thanks," he mumbled. "Sorry I've been a bit of a twat lately."

"S'alright," Liam replied as he gently laid his hand on Zayn's knee. "I just thought maybe you hated me because-"

"No!" Zayn interrupted, looking Liam straight in the eye. "Of course not."

"I didn't know!" He laughed nervously. "It's just…you shut me out right after I reminded you of kissing me and I didn't know."

"I don't hate you, Li." Zayn sighed softly as he tore his eyes away from Liam's. "The exact opposite, actually," he added in a soft voice. Liam tightened his grip on Zayn's knee slightly, enough to make Zayn jump.

"Sorry," Liam mumbled and Zayn chuckled softly.

"S'alright." Liam's mouth quirked upwards in a smile as Zayn looked at him again.

"So when you say the opposite…" he trailed off, his smile growing wider as Zayn started to blush again.

"I might be thinking about kissing you again," he whispered. Liam brought his other hand to Zayn's cheek and gently pulled him closer.

"Go right ahead," he murmured before Zayn closed the gap between their lips.

**Author's Note:**

> [my tumblr](http://imlouisaf.tumblr.com)


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